The following Monday, I walked into school with my new
bomber jacket and red laces straight laced in my Docs. On the back of my bomber jacket was an iron
cross patch and on the left shoulder was a Death’s Skull patch. I caught the glares of the punks and freaks
at school. I didn’t feel the shame or
anxiety I expected to feel, but instead I felt a sense of pride, because I knew
something they didn’t – all of those feelings I used to have and was ashamed of
were right.
I sat down in homeroom next to
Jason as I normally did and gave him a heads up.
“Hey Rus. What’s with the new bomber?” Jason asked.
“Oh, yeah, a buddy of mine gave
it to me.” I said.
“And uh, those red laces. What’s the deal?” He said.
“What? You my ma now? I like them.” I said.
“I’m just sayin’. Red laces and a Death’s Skull might send the
wrong message.”
“You sound just like my mother.” I snapped “You don’t
fuckin’ get it do you? I like the way
this looks. It makes me feel more free
than when I was just this doped up fresh cut.”
“Whoa, did you join a crew? Did you join CLAS?”
“Nah, I didn’t join anything yet.” I said “It’s just I
thought about a lot of feelings I have and I think that maybe there’s something
to it.”
“Like, white supremacy?” Jason
asked
“Nah, I mean, I don’t have any problems with minorities, I
just don’t want them fucking up my neighborhood.”
“You mean like me and my
family?” Jason snapped.
“Nah, see, you’re OK, cuz you guys wanna be white. It’s the ones that are following you.”
“What?”
“What?”
“Like, we can still be friends,
but I don’t trust the new neighbors.”
“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but fuck dude. You sound just like those CLAS fuckers when
they flier outside Medusa’s.”
“Flier? Nah, that’s
not them. They just want to keep their
neighborhood white. They don’t care
about the northside.”
Jason stared at me blankly.
“Do you actually believe that? I mean, you’ve seen the fliers. We’ve laughed at the bad grammar and poorly
drawn pictures and the CLAS logo looking like a five year old drew it.”
I quickly changed the subject. “Look, I’m leaving home. I’m gonna move in with Bridgette’s
family. Whatever you do, don’t tell
anyone where I am.”
“Whatever man. We
need talk about this more later.” Jason said as our homeroom teacher walked in
the room.
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