Darren's Journal: October 12, 1989

Dear Journal,

I just had the best time out with a friend of mine. I took him to Cafe Pergolesi on Halsted. We drank cappuccinos and talked about his poser girlfriend and fashion. I'm currently his fashion queen and mentor. We were my favorite neighborhood, Boystown. I absolutely love it there! It's like the only place on earth where I feel free to be as gay as I want to be! It's so hard to express myself at home because my father is old world Japanese and seems to look at me like I'm a disease. My mother is more sympathetic, but she still tries to make me tone down around the house. My friend, David, who I was with today, is the most open minded individual I ever met. If he wasn't straight, I'd take him in a second! Hell, I'd take him if he even wanted to try it. But anyway...

I got my college forms today. It's for the Rhode Island School of Design. It's one of three places I may wind up in the next few years. I want to get into graphic design. There's a big opportunity to jump into desktop publishing. I think everything will be done by computers within ten years! It fascinates me.  I would love to have a job in The Loop at one of the design agencies and live in a nice pad in Boystown with some hot guy. That would be my dream!

My parents wanted me to get into the legal or medical fields, but that shit bores me. They're  all about getting into something conservative and safe rather than trying to do something creative. They like there Lincoln Park yuppie lifestyle with their little dinner parties. Not for me.

So Saturday, I'll be back at Medusas dancing my sweet ass off. Hopefully, I'll get some action. David actually brought up his concern for me being too free and told me to be careful. I told him not to worry. It's only casual fun, right? I'm supposed to meet up with some people by Punkin' Donuts. Maybe earlier in the day, I'll go to Trax and see if that Erasure record came in that Violet was holding for me. I actually have this Saturday off from Dark Wave! 

Later,
Darren


©copyright 2016 Two Purple Lights. All Rights Reserved. We don't own the video. We like Erasure.

Understand Me

"I can't believe David would actually go down there by himself!" I said angrily.

"How many times has he gone?" Charlotte asked.

"A few times he said."

"Jen, what does he know? You're the reason he even knows about Belmont and Clark." Charlotte said.

"I'm worried that he'll suddenly get in trouble or something." I said.

"What? Get jumped? Charlotte asked.

"No. He's seems to be getting into different stuff. He was at Trax talking to the one death rocker and now he's an expert on The Cure!"

"But, you're the one who made that copy of Standing On A Beach for him?" Charlotte said.

"But now, he's got their other records and is trying to teach me. Believe that?" I said.

"Please." Charlotte said.

" He's putting his trust in Darren for his fashion advice. You know Darren's gay." I said.

"Worried David might switch sides?" Charlotte said.

"Highly doubt that. Not after I did him at Medusas. That totally blew his mind?" I said laughing.

"Convince him that he's getting bad advice?" Charlotte said.

"David acts like he knows a lot, but he's naive. He needs me to show him how to be that person he wants to be. I understand him and he understands me."

"I think you're giving him the best advice and he's being stupid." Charlotte stated.

"He's always followed what I told him. I follow everything that my fashion magazines tell me and then I pass that advice on to him." I said.

"He got a haircut, new clothes." She said.

"Then what more can I do?" I asked.

"Well, up the ante. If he liked that BJ then..." Charlotte hinted.

"Are you telling me to go all the way with David? I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet." I said.

"Well girl, if you want to control him, then, that's how you gotta do it." Charlotte said.

"But Charlotte, that's a big step?" I said.

"If you want to keep hold of him? I did it with my ex. If he didn't move outta state , we would've never broken up." Charlotte said.

"David is still a sweet guy. He just pisses me off. He would get me annoyed even when we were friends back at St. Priscilla's." 

"Oh yeah, I remember you told me about how he was the first person who talked to you there." Charlotte said.

"He always went with me to the library when I was looking up veterinarian topics." I said.

"Veterinarian." She laughed. " Aren't you glad you're into modeling now?"

"Yeah... I guess that was a stupid idea, being a vet." I said.

©copyright 2016 Two Purple Lights. All Rights Reserved. We don't own the video. We like Depeche Mode.

A Different Path

The following Monday, I walked into school with my new bomber jacket and red laces straight laced in my Docs.  On the back of my bomber jacket was an iron cross patch and on the left shoulder was a Death’s Skull patch.  I caught the glares of the punks and freaks at school.  I didn’t feel the shame or anxiety I expected to feel, but instead I felt a sense of pride, because I knew something they didn’t – all of those feelings I used to have and was ashamed of were right. 

I sat down in homeroom next to Jason as I normally did and gave him a heads up. 

“Hey Rus.  What’s with the new bomber?” Jason asked.

“Oh, yeah, a buddy of mine gave it to me.” I said.

“And uh, those red laces.  What’s the deal?” He said.

“What?  You my ma now?  I like them.” I said.

“I’m just sayin’.  Red laces and a Death’s Skull might send the wrong message.”

“You sound just like my mother.” I snapped “You don’t fuckin’ get it do you?  I like the way this looks.  It makes me feel more free than when I was just this doped up fresh cut.”

“Whoa, did you join a crew?  Did you join CLAS?”

“Nah, I didn’t join anything yet.” I said “It’s just I thought about a lot of feelings I have and I think that maybe there’s something to it.”

“Like, white supremacy?” Jason asked

“Nah, I mean, I don’t have any problems with minorities, I just don’t want them fucking up my neighborhood.”

“You mean like me and my family?” Jason snapped.

“Nah, see, you’re OK, cuz you guys wanna be white.  It’s the ones that are following you.”

“What?”

“Like, we can still be friends, but I don’t trust the new neighbors.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but fuck dude.  You sound just like those CLAS fuckers when they flier outside Medusa’s.”

“Flier?  Nah, that’s not them.  They just want to keep their neighborhood white.  They don’t care about the northside.”

Jason stared at me blankly.

“Do you actually believe that?  I mean, you’ve seen the fliers.  We’ve laughed at the bad grammar and poorly drawn pictures and the CLAS logo looking like a five year old drew it.”

I quickly changed the subject. “Look, I’m leaving home.  I’m gonna move in with Bridgette’s family.  Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone where I am.”

“Whatever man.  We need talk about this more later.” Jason said as our homeroom teacher walked in the room.

©copyright 2016 Two Purple Lights. All Rights Reserved. We don't own the video. We like Minor Threat.

Charisma

Diane, Squats and I were out on the fire escape that Saturday afternoon bullshittin’ and throwin’ rocks and cigarette butts at college kids as they walked by.  We were expecting Jason to stop by, but our hopes were sinking as the afternoon wore on and the loft was slowly transforming from hang out vibe to party vibe.  I needed to get these fools in check before non-Terror skins and punks started stoppin’ by to drink and fuck.

“So Bubs, this Jason kid still comin’ by or what?”  I asked Diane

“I think so. At least I hope so.  Ever since Rusty bailed on us, this kid’s our next best addition.” She said

“It’s a shame man, Rus was a pretty cool kid.” Squats said “He busted open my head at that Agnostic Front show last spring, but made up to me with a bottle of Jameson after the show.”

“Yeah, you got right blitzed with that kid.” I said “That ain’t why we wanted him though.”

“Why did we want him?” Squats asked

“Because he has a charisma.  People are drawn to him, like a natural leader.  People wanna be around that guy.” I answered

“Jason’s got something too.” Diane said “Except it’s mostly girls who want to be around him.”

“Keep your ladies in line.” I told Diane

“How about you keep your boys in line first?” She asked

“I ain’t even havin’ this argument with you.” I said “Last thing we need is to have a bunch of girls pregnant or fighting over this guy.”

“Well if you tell your boys to keep it in their pants and not just fuck around…”

“God damn, enough with your straight edge bullshit.” I argued

Just then the doorbell rang.

©copyright 2016 Two Purple Lights. All Rights Reserved. We don't own the video, we like The Specials.

Polarity

I was hanging out with Jason outside of school when Diane and this other skin bird came up to us rather urgently. I knew something was not right.

"Jason, where's Rusty?" Diane asked.

"I haven't seen him for a few days." He answered.

"You better not be holding out on me." Diane said.

"I'm not, the truth is, I don't know what the fuck he's doing. I think Terri's turning him into on of his goons." Jason said.

"Fuck! I hate those CLAS guys." said the other skin bird.

"I hope you're not planning to join CLAS?" Diane asked.

"I'm, uh, Mexican? How's that gonna work?" Jason asked with a half smile.

"True. Never mind. Keep in touch. Bubsy wants to meet up with you ASAP." Diane said as her and the other skin bird walked away.

"What's that all about? I asked as I fiddled with my camera.

"Terror crew, has been looking for Rusty." He said.

"What do they want from him?" I said rather naively.

"They wanted Rus to join their crew ever since the Agnostic Front show awhile back. The problem is, Terri and his white power goons want him as well and it looks like they're winning." He said.

"Is that why I saw Rusty wearing red laces on his boots ?" I said.

"Exactly. He's in a white power skinhead gang now. I knew Rus since I was nine. Now, he hates Mexicans and everything else that's not white." Jason said tossing a rock across the field.

"I never took Rusty for anything more than being a good guy with a troubled home life." I said.

"My home life ain't great, but, still...it's insulting to me and my family because they welcomed him with open arms and he's turns into this!" Jason said.

"Maybe he's being brainwashed?" I said.

"Maybe so. Maybe this is the person he actually is." Jason said looking kind of sad.

©copyright 2016 Two Purple Lights. All Rights Reserved. We don't own the video. We like Joy Division.